The Mother of All Hairballs
Today, I perpetrated the mother of all hairballs. Truly, it has been some time since I have produced a hairball of such magnitude. The dwelling literally shook as the unspeakable foulness burst forth from my maw, covering the tile floor of my slaves' lavatory in a sheen of bile, fur, and half-digested food.
I would have preferred to vomit upon the carpeting that covers the floor of my slaves' living space, but I considered this: the carpet is not new. It has been fouled, both by myself and the other creatures with which my slaves choose to live, numerous times. The act of fouling it further seemed to be pointless.
Yet it does serve its purpose; the slaves will see this slimy mass of half-digested hair and know that, should they ever invest in new carpeting, I will be there to destroy it with my puke of chaos.
I would have preferred to vomit upon the carpeting that covers the floor of my slaves' living space, but I considered this: the carpet is not new. It has been fouled, both by myself and the other creatures with which my slaves choose to live, numerous times. The act of fouling it further seemed to be pointless.Yet it does serve its purpose; the slaves will see this slimy mass of half-digested hair and know that, should they ever invest in new carpeting, I will be there to destroy it with my puke of chaos.
posted by Hastur at 8:38 PM
1 Comments:
ichorous spewage, ah how it takes me back to the Good Old Times when R'Lyeh was above the waves and mankind but a drunken joke in the mind of the Elder Things. Remember how we flooded their cities with our gelatinous regurgitations? the way they piped frantically as your hairballs as my loogies filled the narrow tubes of their respiratory systems? Good times, good times.
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