Happy Thanksgiving from Hastur the Unspeakable

What do you have to be thankful for, you ask? Let me tell you.

You should be thankful that you are not one of my slaves.

If you were my slave, your mind would be fractured, and your body would be wracked with wounds caused by the loving caresses of my razor-sharp claws.

If you could claim the dubious honor of being one of my minions, you would surely know the horror that causes them to procrastinate when scooping the litter boxes.

Were you my thrall, you would doubtless know the speed with which I devour my food, much as I could devour your very soul if I chose to do so.

Yes, human. In no uncertain terms, you should give thanks...