Disturbing

I have learned that there is another four-legged beast in this pitiable, doomed world that shares my name. His owner has erected a small page to honor him. This disturbs me, and I will tell you why. Oh, yes. I will tell you.

You might know that I am referred to as the Unspeakable Cat for a reason. Every time my name is invoked, there is a slim chance that I might be whisked away to the presence of the speaker, whereapon I shall wreak unholy vengeance upon the unfortunate scum.

I have grown adept at ignoring these calls, for it can be quite annoying to be taken from my current task, far from the meager comforts of my slaves' dwelling, and suddenly put into a situation where I must reduce a soul to ribbons with my rending claws. Once, I was in the midst of a visit to the litterbox, and someone spoke my name. You can bet they got more than they bargained for...

Every time my name is spoken, I feel a tug. This would not be unlike a tug upon my tail, only in an ethereal sense...my spiritual tail, you might say. Occasionally, these calls become so constant as to be more than annoying. I feel that this other cat, this mere imposter, is the cause. Its owner, calling its name; perhaps summoning it to dine on kibble, or for a saucer of sweet milk.

Despite this horrible revelation, do not forget: I am the Unspeakable Cat. There are no others before me. Get this right, and I may deign to use your spine as a scratching post after the return of the Old Ones...